memoirsofasexyspirit_bm1ac3

My Search

When I was 7 years old looking out my window on a snowy day, I remember asking myself, “Why Am I here?”

In all honesty 65 years later, I still do not know that answer. Yet having arrived at many destinations in my life, I might look at those destinations for clues that guided my motivations and movements toward those destinations.

If I were to list the my greatest motivations they would most likely begin with the sexual experience in all dimensions with a woman.  Even today, I am at my most happiest and fulfilled state of being when I am in a healthy, intimate, sexual, relationship with a women. I have always known and realized even as I’ve grown older and wiser, that my energies are always prioritized and engaged in  pulling all the other aspects of my life, i.e. spiritual, emotional, intellectual, financial, etc.  in alignment with healthy, intimate, sexual, relationships with a woman’s energy.

The situation I find myself in today, is that I am older, and in the belief that my resources are limited due to my age. A healthy body, in every aspect, would be, in my opinion, a top priority in terms of attraction. So I need to start from a new model. I currently believe that child bearing, being less of a goal, necessitates a new model for intimacy. I would be good to define that new model. something like the The Emerging Model of Sex, Love, and Intimacy in Men and Women over 50. We might begin with revealing the new destinations that are guiding Super Agers might be seeking as they being more aware how the body is changing as it moves toward its own destination of Cessation. It will certainly be different given the following factors:
1. How do they envision their last breath, and to what degree do they prepare for it.
2. How have they lived thus far that has determined, to some degree, their emotional motivation  to move toward (or away from) their desired moments last moments of life.
3. What have they established as their relationship with their body. What are the communications that go back and forth.

My Bio

When I was 7 years old looking out my window on a snowy day, I remember asking myself, “Why Am I here?”

In all honesty 65 years later, I still do not know that answer. Yet having arrived at many destinations in my life, I might look at those destinations for clues that guided my motivations and movements toward those destinations.

If I were to list the my greatest motivations they would most likely begin with the sexual experience in all dimensions with a woman.  Even today, I am at my most happiest and fulfilled state of being when I am in a healthy, intimate, sexual, relationship with a women. I have always known and realized even as I’ve grown older and wiser, that my energies are always prioritized and engaged in  pulling all the other aspects of my life, i.e. spiritual, emotional, intellectual, financial, etc.  in alignment with healthy, intimate, sexual, relationships with a woman’s energy.

The situation I find myself in today, is that I am older, and in the belief that my resources are limited due to my age. A healthy body, in every aspect, would be, in my opinion, a top priority in terms of attraction. So I need to start from a new model. I currently believe that child bearing, being less of a goal, necessitates a new model for intimacy. I would be good to define that new model. something like the The Emerging Model of Sex, Love, and Intimacy in Men and Women over 50. We might begin with revealing the new destinations that are guiding Super Agers might be seeking as they being more aware how the body is changing as it moves toward its own destination of Cessation. It will certainly be different given the following factors:
1. How do they envision their last breath, and to what degree do they prepare for it.
2. How have they lived thus far that has determined, to some degree, their emotional motivation  to move toward (or away from) their desired moments last moments of life.
3. What have they established as their relationship with their body. What are the communications that go back and forth.

 

-Born of Carlos Anthony Diaz and Aur Rosa Espejo on May 20th 1950 1:30 am in St Francis Hospital in Bronx NY.
– Family moved to Samford Connecticut where I, and my younger sister, Constance Diaz, at 68 Holly Place.
– My Sexual Awakening with our babysitter
– My conscious mind at 7 years old-Why am I here?
– Me separation with the Catholic Church at 14
– My life in the projects-violence, make sessions, music
– My broken heart sends me to Cherry Lawn
– My first real Girlfriend
– Fairfield University, I find Taoism, LSD
-Antioch College, Sexual revolution, leaving the past behind
– Ballroom Dance World
– I recognize my Self as an Infinite Consciousness, Scientology
– Teaching on my own, Dance America, My 1st Marriage, Sex Lifestyle
– World Representatives, Champions, Dance Schools
– My Sexual Energy Changes, Tao of Health, Sex, Longevity, Mantak Chia
-Sexy Spirits, Tantra, Platform for Educators
– My Second Marriage, Orgasmic Providers, MNN, Alphay
– Covid 2019-22
-My Current Life Competing with Joy, Creating an Online Presence

I was born of immigrant parents from South America and Puerto Rico on May 20, 1950, in New York City, raised in Stamford, Connecticut. I attended, a Jesuit college, Fairfield University, where I majored in math and science, training to become a mechanical engineer. My focus shifted, however, to the studies in human thought, and I began to study theology, philosophy, and psychology, and became immediately down to eastern philosophies of Buddhism and Taoism. 

Seeking less structure and more interpersonal connection, I transferred, the following year, to Antioch College, founded by Horace Mann, regraded, at that time, as one the most progressive liberal colleges in America. My interests shifted once again, this time to the arts, and I began pursuing a career in Music and Dance. 

After graduating Antioch, I embarked upon a professional dance career that would last 20 years. As a professional competitive ballroom dancer, with my former wife, Bonnie Hegarty, went on to win a World title in 1989 and afterwards twice represented the United States in world championships. 

We became one of the principle dancers with the American Ballroom Theater where we had the honor to dance on stages of Jacob’s Pillow in the Berkshires, The Kennedy Center in Washington, Sadlers Wells in London, and BAM in New York just to name a few. During his training as a dancer I was highly impacted by the Alexander Technique where I began to appreciate the delicate connection between the mind, the body, and our emotional states

In 1992, I met Master Mantak Chia, and began to deepen my studies in Taoism, becoming introduced for the first time, to the Taoist sexual cultivation practices. In 1997, I retired from dancing and began teaching these Taoist practices full time. In 1999, I founded Sexy Spirits in New York City, as an educational center where sexuality and spirituality could be taught as an integrated part of our human nature.

I had just completed my associate instructor training in the Healing Tao practices under Master Mantak Chia, and decided to create a learning center in New York City that would offer a practical and systematic method of integrating health, sex, and longevity through the Taoists principles that I had learned and began to apply in my life. I was especially enthusiastic about teaching men the sexual cultivation practices that had changed my life. What I had learned had not only increased by state of personal health and well being but also greatly enhanced my understanding and ability in my relationships.

You might say I was no longer a slave to my sexual drives but now more in a conscious partnership with it. My new way of understanding and experiencing my sexual energy gave me an insight in understanding how love, emotions, and sexual energy, could now work together in creating harmonious relationships as well as strong loving community.

Today, Sexy Spirits continues as an educational center with classes, lectures, and workshops, both live and online, that are taught in the United States. Richard “Anton” Diaz, is currently authoring 2 books, and teaching courses and trainings he has created including Tantra Tango, Mastering Your Orgasm, Sensual Love & Intimacy Foundation, Taontric Massage, and Orgasmic Providers.

Here now nearly 20 years later, Sexy Spirits is become a major community builder and educational center for learning intimacy and sexuality as a conscious practice in one’s life. The Healing Tao practices that were the catalyst for creating Sexy Spirits, are still taught and even recommended as a strong foundation, but now Sexy Spirits has become an online university offering a diversity of subjects ranging from Tantra to practices in Self-Love, to building conscious intimate community, from becoming master givers and receivers of sensual pleasure to better support spiritual freedom and liberation.

My goals for Sexy Spirits are a world-wide system in building conscious community that better supports our relationships for family and intimacy with others. It goes without saying that a good relationship better supports and nourishes each of the individuals within that relationship. But likewise, a good community better supports and nourishes each of the individuals and partners within that community. Sexy Spirits offers a model in creating those communities where ever you live on this planet.

Sexual energy is perhaps the most powerful driving force in our lives. Our sexual energy can provide us with more health, happiness, and well being but can also be our greatest source of distraction, frustration, pain, and confusion. Through sex we can easily create new life or just as easily upset or destroy existing ones. Understanding and mastering our sexual energy will greatly determine whether or not we create the life we desire.

Our sex drive is motivated by two strong and not necessarily independent urges; the urge to create children and have family, and the urge to experience sensual pleasure. It would seem that mother nature provided us with far more sexual energy than was actually required to continue our species.

Our current society and culture in the west directs sexual energy, far more, for the experience of pleasure than it does for procreation. This might actually be a better survival choice for our species over-populated. As we learn more and more how to economically populate and successfully prolong life on this planet, the necessity to understand our use of sexual energy as pleasure and for health and longevity becomes critical. Even the celebate must manage their sexual drives.

Though current western society on the whole has given great latitude for sexual expression as a function of pleasure, independent of procreation, western religious ideologies, since their very inception, have pretty much continued to disassociate sexual energy with spiritual development. In contrast, early eastern religions, the major ones being Taoism that originated in China and Tantra in India, embraced the cultivation and integration of sexual energy as vital and necessary to spiritual growth. Unfortunately, these teachings have not so easily been accepted and/or appreciated by the western mind. Teachings in Tantra’s “god and goddess” oriented symbolism have appealed much more easily to western culture, while teachings in the disciplined path of the Taoist monk offers a pragmatic, logical, and often times clinical presentation which appeals to the more monastic mind.

But what if these teachings could be presented to the western mind in such a way that would be instructive, illuminating, and equally appealing to men and woman alike? What if we could come to our own understanding of sexual energy cultivation that would allow us to honor our sexual urges. What if we could consciously cultivate our sexual energy into a regular practice, as we currently do with diet and exercise, that would increase our physical, mental, and emotional well-being?

Well this is my mission with Sexy Spirits! To empower men and women to cultivate and refine their sexual energy in a way that encourages and supports healthy bodies, clear minds, and harmonious relationships. You are an Infinite Being in relationship with  a finite, sexually differentiated body, as either a male or female. I refer to this as a Sexy Spirit – an Infinite Consciousness, engaged with a body that requires consummation with it’s gender opposite in order for a new life to continue through a new body. Additionally,  You, as a Sexy Spirit,  are “ensouled” within a greater mysterious force- that contains Life itself: a Presence that delivered us into this Life, and to where we all return to. To be connected to that presence, is to be empowered, supported, and healed, by it.

The Body Mind & the Spirit MInd

As we are born and grow,
the Body guides, 
the Soul follows.
As we live and grow old,
the Soul guides
the Body follows.

It is perhaps my belief, that we have an opportunity to continue in that consciousness to our next destination, or otherwise,  to forget and start our search again from our former beginning.

Lily -12-21-23 ARC Break

On this day she had lunch with Joseph, then went to his apartment, are intimate, came back tired. My work pushed me though the worry of her being safe as she did not communicate that she was until she returned at 7:30pm.

I let it go but went to bed re-evaluating my goals for my life including the type of relationship I want. I was able to say out loud in my mind, that sexual pleasure alone is not enough to bond 2 people if not in alignment or resonance with  Life alignment i.e. birth, death, life, destiny Tao.

We have a heated discussion about mothers bringing in children in the world where Lily expresses her anger a them and I accuse her of not being compassionate. It goes south fast and at some point I self dialogue and see that I am defending my mother’s viewpoint. We seem to eventually find resolution  and the day goes as usual.

Great fish lunch!!

Later that evening Lily expresses restimulated  energy fro the morning and she expresses that she felt personally attacked by my anger. We discuss, it seems to resolve  and then I offer for her to learn more about Dialogue and she then expresses insult that I have assumed she is at fault for her feelings.

I maybe I made the mistake of making her feel inferior and wrong in the first place, and then we were back in the loop of disconnect. She wants me to take responsibly for personally attacking her. No matter how much I explain the source of my anger being connected to my mother, she feels I am assuming superiority.

She says that if I were ever to treat like she sees me treat Puela and Eva would leave.
??? Not sure what she see’s defining it as “stronger” over them.

Possible reasons:

-I am not taking responsibility in favor of developing a communication system such as family Dialogs.
-She wants to leave with a more resonant person.

-She wants to be right.

-She is hurt that I do not and have never had, strong feelings for her as a relationship.

So where do you want this to go?
Ultimately, friendship, that found it’s place in love and compassion without the intimate sexual relationship that, for me, lacks the sexual attraction on my part, and is not aligned with the my life.

Lily is an amazing woman with a very sharp and educated mind, has great artistic ability, and does not feel great comfort in the complexities of relationship preferring to desire simplicity with no drama. She will no doubt be here for January, go to Florida in February, and may not return to live with me.

Do I have live in the luxury of drama?

Dear Women,
As you look into the world to find companionship with Man to fulfill the need or needs that you desire for your life, know that he is seeking, also, to fulfill the need (or needs) he desires for his life.

To the degree that his and your vision of how you want to live, love, and grow, in life are in alignment, love, intimacy, and pleasure will continuously expand. Any “misalignment” in your visions and desired or perceived destinies, will eventually erode your connection. By alignment is meant, also, the blending of opposing parts, as well as the congruence of smiler parts.

The morning after-

The phrase that “made it personal for her: “You turn Me Off.”This made it “personal” for her. When I expressed that I di not understand her meaning of “personal”, she concluded that I refused to take responsibility.

My conclusion based on words I looked up (communication, service facsimile)-
She is determined to be RIGHT over going deeper into how we can better our skill and ability to communicate . If I understand it, she will respond with what she calls my “personal attack” when I said “she turned me off”, by now being turned off to me.

She will now determine whether we can live harmoniously as roommates.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Israel in 2017

In 2017, I traveled to Israel with 3 strong incentives-
1. To meet the family and feel the country of my then girlfriend, Hila, to learn more about  whether we might have a child together.
2. To visit he Holy City in Jerusalem and determine there any ever hope that a city where 4 of the Major world religions could be, in any way, a shining light to bring mankind out of the dark, ignorance, and disconnect, that we  currently feel with one another.

3. I love to travel and see new lands and cultures.

I knew that if I were to have a child with Hila, that it would be very likely that she would bring our child to Israel for an undetermined amount of time.

I loved the nomadic spirit of Israel, not at all still and proper, but rather raw and real, so akin to my Latin culture. Though the occasional missiles would fly overhead from Gaza prompting me to immediately remember where the bomb shelter rooms were within the household,  I felt as if everyone had simply accepted it as a way of life and that also sharpened their appreciation of the moment with family and friends. As much as I had grown up in a low income housing with lots of neighborhood bullies and even criminals, my skin was not tough enough to endure the anxiety of family and children born into the existential mentality of the Israeli people. I knew that could never be at peace with my child living in Israel.

My visit to the Holy City in Jerusalem was equally disappointing. Nearly each quadrant that separated the neighborhoods by religion, had armed soldiers to protect their boundaries as well as, I’m sure, the many millions of tourists that pass through every year. Any sense of unity or desire to provide a solution through the commonality of religion seemed to be over shadowed by the need for safety and survival.

As beautiful as Israel was, and I would certainly re-visit, it was no place for me to have a child in or to feel a shining light that would bring the world a step closer toward enlightenment.

Forward

I have been asked several times by many close to me, “How did you get to be able the life that you do?” My answer had always been, “To be honest, I don’t know?

A Dancers brief moment in time, after many long hours and endless years of practice, we one day, without any warning, transforms into a human animal.  A Spirit , now in service to a body They reconnect with the raw inherent nature from where we were born from, and separated at birth as a human. now free to be in the wild-erness .

Some of us like me, learning from scratch, and others returning from many lifetimes prior. But once we arrive at that very special moment, where we have ascended from Spirit to Body, we are One with all that is! It is never forgotten from that point  forward. We now move through crowded streets of New York in the same way that would in a dense jungle of with our fellow insects and trees and animals. We move with exact precision and knowingness, rather than through pure instinct,  rather than with thought.

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